This chapter of Solomon's book was the one that I dog-eared the most. I do not have any personal experience with this identity--only friends who have had their own, private experiences, or public figures on social media who share openly about their experiences, like the cases Solomon shares here:
"Jan Morris, who wrote bravely of her transition--the process of switching gender--in the 1970s, has said, 'Transsexualism is not a sexual mode or preference. It is not an act of sex at all. It is a passionate, lifelong, ineradicable conviction, and no true transsexxual has ever been disabused of it.' She explained, 'My inner uncertainty could be represented in swirls and clouds of color, a haze inside me. I did not know exactly where it was--in my head, in my heart, in my loins, in my blood'" (p. 599).
Ms. Morris describes her experience so eloquently, and I wish there were more public personal accounts that would help to spread awareness and dispell myths and ignorance, for example:
"Being trans is taken to be a depravity, and depravities in children are anomalous and disturbing. But trans children are not manifesting sexuality; they are manifesting gender. The issue is not whom they wish to be with, but whom they wish to be. ...gay, too, is an identity--not something you do, but something you are" (p. 600).
I do not know if it is more appropriate to name the thought of transgender children expressing sexuality before they are sexually mature or even aware as a thought spurred by ignorance or misinformation. I have heard from countless sources, most of them religious, that transgender is not an identity, but a depraved choice, and the same for the identity "queer." Regardless of whether this is a result of ignorance, misinformation, or simply myth, one possible solution is education. As Solomon mentions in relation to other identities, we have a long way to go:
"Like autism, gender nonconformity seems far more prevalent than ever before; as with autism, whether the condition is actually more frequent or simply more recognized is unclear" (p. 607).
Unfortunately, because we have so far to go, families and individuals have to go to great and appalling lengths just so that their family member or they themselves can live safely.
"Bettina and Greg showed me the 'safe folder' they take with them at all times. Many parents of trans kids keep one: paperwork to be shown in the event of trouble, as law enforcement and the medical system can be unfamiliar with or hostile to gender variance. A folder may include letters from the child's pediatrician and a psychotherapist confirming the child's gender identity; letters from at least three friends or family members and, if possible, a pastor or minister or other prelate that testify to the parents' sound parenting skills; videos or snapshots of the child displaying atypical gender behaviors throughout life; copies of birth certificates, passports and Social Security cards that reflect a change of gender or name; a home study documenting family stability, if available; and a Beureau of Criminal Information report that shoes that the parents are not child abusers" (p. 613).
I was absolutely shocked when I read this description of this practice adopted by "many parents of trans kids." I cannot imagining living in a country that boasts of liberty and justice for all, but needing so much safeguarding just to exist safely. What do these parents need to prove on a daily basis? Sanity? Purity? Good intentions? Love? Care? Conformity, support of diversity and authenticity? What parents of other typical kids need to prove such things to strangers, law enforcement, and the medical system?
#challenge #professionaldevelopment #reading #bookreview #safety #identity #ignorance #education #maturity #transition #transgender #justice #socialjustice
Solomon, A. (2012). Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity. New York: Scribner Classics.
Kommentare